Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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