I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
