You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
