What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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