I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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