no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
