Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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