You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
