I can't watch pbs sober anymore
True but thats because hes a fetus.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
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All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
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My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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