Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
