ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
