Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
