You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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