i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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