Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize