Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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