Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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