hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
