Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
