O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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