just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
