Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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