Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
