he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
