Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
