Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
