as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
