mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize