I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
