All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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