I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
