I wanna bring you to show and tell
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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