question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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