He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
