and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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