Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
