do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
PANTIES FOUND
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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