Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
should my penis look like a turkey
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
