Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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