I saw his package. It spoke to me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
