Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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