I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
