u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i think my tv is drunk
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
