very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
