if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
