I will die if light touches me.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
