dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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