He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Actions speak louder than pants.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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