is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
