our cab driver is having phone sex.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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