i need an iv and a liver transplant
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize