Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You are a booty call, not a friend.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize