On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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