His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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