I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
handjob tips. give me some.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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